#WallaceAndGromit. Forever.
2021 was something of a mixed year for me. At the beginning of the year, I had to deal with a torrent of bullshit. The rest of that year was dedicated to healing. Healing I did. I found a good community (at the time) of people to surround myself with while I worked past everything I had been through.
During 2021, I was living in my Mom's house with my then girlfriend (now ex). We had shoved our two desks together for optimal space in my room. To give you an idea of how it looked, my desk was pushed up against the wall, her desk was pushed up against mine, and I had just enough room to wiggle past her whenever I needed to leave to get food or something. And then, behind both of our desks, we had a mattress on the floor that we slept on every night. Because my Mom got rid of my bed in 2018 without my knowledge, got me a new one, and when I broke the bed frame on accident - refused to get me a new bed.
In the summer, my ex had to go home. We were keeping our relationship a secret from her mother and her story only lasted as long as my ex was in college. So during the summer months, I was alone in my room. (And secretly grateful for the extra room!
But before my ex left, I remember I accidentally clicked on a video called LESBIAN PONIES WITH WEAPONS.
...And I was skeptical. I grew up with My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic as my main fandom from 2012-2014. If you know anything about what the My Little Pony fandom was like back in those days, you'd forgive me for being suspicious over the thumbnail. I had seen this video multiple times in my recommended but I never clicked it. Why? Because I didn't trust it wouldn't have the graphic content that the more mature videos I'd seen that looked eerily similar to this did. And as a result, I never watched it until I either clicked it on accident, it autoplayed, or a third option I'm forgetting.
...And I liked what I heard! Though I'm not the person who goes digging through someone's music after I find something I like. If I hear three or four songs I like? Maybe. But I was content to simply play the song for my ex at the time and insist we add it to the car radio playlist.
I could have never guessed everything that would unfold in the years to come.
I'd long since forgotten about LESBIAN PONIES WITH WEAPONS by this time. I'd forgotten about Vylet Pony. Around this time, I was starting to talk to someone who I'd later start dating (now ex). We were hanging out on a Discord call and he said "hey, I've got something to show you". And started screensharing this video.
Once again, I was skeptical.
My ex-girlfriend LOVED SilvaGunner. I didn't care too much for the mashups but she had sent me so much of their music that I'd long grown sick of seeing the name. My ex-girlfriend was really really into silly music. No hate to anyone who likes it, it just wasn't my thing, not my kind of comedy. But I listened to the songs cause I loved her (although not without complaining...). So I wasn't too happy to see that the creator was SilvaGunner.
But because I was a massive simp for this guy, I shut my mouth and watched the video.
This was my first exposure to ANTONYMPH.
After the song concluded, I asked him to show me the original song. Which he did. And when I heard it for the first time, I cried.
I loved the message of the song. It spoke to me at the time. I had met this guy through a particularly niche community. One that I think a lot of people would consider to be a bit childish. This resonated with me. That even though I felt like I was being cringe at times, it didn't matter, because the passion I held for my interest was stronger. Besides, cringe culture is dead! Embrace what you love, dammit!
Then I discovered that ANTONYMPH was made by the same person who made LESBIAN PONIES WITH WEAPONS. So then, I FINALLY started to dive a little deeper into Vylet Pony's music. This was around the time I was starting to do Doordash as my full-time job. So I needed some car tunes to listen to while I drove. I couldn't just listen to the same few tracks I'd slapped on my car playlist over and over. I was making good use of Spotify's algorithm (which I don't use anymore, fuck Spotify) but I figured I should be making a proactive effort to search as well.
So I decided to listen to what she had on her YouTube!
I think I listened through most of the CUTIEMARKS album, skipped around songs that I didn't particularly like. What I quickly learned is that Vylet has a variety of different styles that sea plays around with. I was super into bands like Set It Off at the time that had a pretty consistent style of alternative-rock. I also liked All Time Low and The Cab as well. So the more I listened to some of her songs, the more I was like "okay, maybe she's not for me after all".
Then I listened to In A Rush.
And I liked what I heard! Around this time, I had finished cleaning my room so I slapped ANTONYMPH, LESBIAN PONIES WITH WEAPONS, and In A Rush on my Spotify playlist and went to bed.
The next few weeks, I was alternating between using my custom playlist for driving and Spotify's "Made For You" playlist. Spotify had began to throw other Vylet Pony songs at me. I don't know if I first watched the animation for Brohoof first or if I had listened to it on Spotify. Either way, Brohoof also found its way into my Spotify playlist.
I think I tossed money Vylet Pony's way at some point in the middle of all of this. Her Patreon was within my budget but I only recall being in there for a short period of time.
I don't remember the exact events for the following, but I remember being in Vylet's Patreon Discord when Cross was teased. I listened to the sneak preview and liked what I heard.
So to catch you up with my life to this point...
I'd gotten together with the guy who showed me ANTONYMPH, broke up with him a few months later, then little while later got together with my now husband. :3
I listened to Cross in December 2023. I think I added it to my Spotify playlist as well.
But then, I went to visit my husband (then boyfriend) for two months. I was going to stay for his birthday and then leave the next month.
Around this time, I had got back into Toontown Rewritten. Toontown Rewritten involves a lot of grinding. So I grew bored of finding YouTube videos to have on in the background to keep myself entertained. I decided I would finally try listening to Vylet's albums start to finish while I slaughtered corporate robots in Toontown.
I listened to CUTIEMARKS, can opener's notebook: fish whisperer, Carousel, and I Was The Loner of Paradise Valley from start to finish. Then I proceeded to alternate between the four albums interchangably. I listed to Super Pony Worlds: Fairytales, Queen of Misfits, and Love Letters: Colourless. I have a lot less to say on those last three albums because it's been a while since I've listened to them...
CUTIEMARKS was a reminder to be myself. I listened to ANTONYMPH whenever I needed a boost in my mood. can opener's notebook: fish whisperer was something I didn't really get until later. One song on the album though: i've still got something to teach you did speak true to me. It was a really healing song as a creator. As a writer. I didn't realize this at the time (because I didn't think to fucking read???) but Fish Whisperer is an album about creative burnout. Which is what I was experiencing at the time. And I listened to the album not really understanding the lyrics and their deeper meaning. Because I didn't think I was experiencing burnout. I thought I was just being lazy.
This song healed me. It's what pushed me to start writing again a bit.
Where Fish Whisperer is an album about creative burnout, Carousel (I think?) seeks to do the exact opposite. In 2024, I would have confidently told you that Carousel is an allegory for remaining stagnant and being content in churning out the same bullshit. How creators constantly have to adapt and aspire to try new things so they can continue to improve and grow as creators. You know, shit that triple a studios (COUGH COUGH NINTENDO COUGH) refuse to do.
I spent so much time, an ungodly amount of time, listening to Carousel over and over again. I loved the album so damn much. I thought it was exactly what I needed to hear at the time. Because in my mind, I took at as: nothing in life is guaranteed. You don't have all the time in the world. You have to create while you still can. Things of that nature repeated over and over in my head. I thought I understood to a degree what Carousel was about but I was misinterpreting the message.
I dove deep into anything I could find about Carousel. I had a private Discord server with just myself in it that had dozens of notes about Carousel lore. Anything that Vylet may have hinted at in the past was in that server for me to look at, review, and theorize about. I even forced my husband to listen to the entire album from start to finish and theorize with me. While he was at work. I love my husband, he's such a patient soul.
I have a notebook laying around somewhere of physical notes I took about each of the songs, speculating on what they could be about. Speculating what each song was about. Speculating what something like Let's Fly to the Castle! was about despite it having no lyrics. I would obsessively read over the booklet because I wanted to understand every part of this album. It spoke to me like nothing else had.
I went as far as finding the two radio broadcasts in Examining The Afterthought and listening to the full audio. Not much else to them, if you're wondering.
I wish I could remember everything I had theorized about Carousel. I probably still have the notebook somewhere. Unfortunately, I'd be hesitant to share any of the thoughts I had come up with. In 2024, I didn't have the most keen eye for observation and analysis. It's been a whole year since all of then so I can't really remember everything I'd thought about when it came to Carousel.
Here's what I do remember though:
Carousel's about a variety of different topics. It's not just about one thing. It's about not remaining stagnant and continuing to grow, it's about being wary of those in the entertainment industry (Everything's sinister when you're playing with stars!), it's about pushing yourself forward to create. If you have a talent you want to utilize in this world, don't wait. Keep going. Keep creating. Keep changing.
I held it close as a reminder to myself to create. But I was way too harsh on myself as a result. Where I listened and internalized the messages I got from Carousel, I should have been listening to Fish Whisperer.
Let's fast forward a bit. 2024 was not a kind year to me. At the beginning of the year, I parted ways with a close friend I thought I would have for life. I immediately regretted my decision after for months and it haunted me for the rest of the year. During the summer, a lot of drama took place and it tore apart my closest immediate friend group. A group of people who had been there for me for years at that point. Before then, I was already in an incredibly dark and dangerous headspace.
Back then, I wasn't the best at asking for help from others. BUT I had been speaking about how deep in a dark place I'd been in our friend server up until the drama took place. I was falling apart. And I'll be honest, they weren't really there for me when I needed them. I stayed in contact with a few of them after everything happened, but they still weren't there.
I promise you that without my husband's constant love, support, and care that I would not be alive right now. He carried me through 2024 through my worst moments. He was there for me when nobody else seemed to want to be. He listened to me cry. He talked me through my mental breakdowns. He is the reason I type this today. He is the reason I was able to get out of a less than ideal living situation. My husband has given me absolutely everything and I owe him the world.
I listened to one song a lot during this time by Vylet.
I don't know why, but listening to it made me hopeful for the future. It was comforting. I couldn't tell you why then and I can't really tell you why now. For some reason, it was just an anthem of encouragement.
So fast forward to July...
Throughout the months, I had been listening to early access versions of the Girls Who Are Wizards tracks as Vylet released them in it's Patreon Discord. When she announced the release date of the album and when it would be premiering on YouTube, I was ecstatic.
So on July 11th...
I went to the FUCKING EMERGENCY ROOM!
The build up of stress over the months got to me. I was headed out to Walmart for something. I don't remember what. The next thing I remember is almost passing out in the middle of the aisle. I walked very quickly to the pharmacy area, called my Mom, and she rushed over and took me to the emergency room. I almost passed out on the way there. I almost passed out in the waiting area. They got me back there quickly, since I thought I was having a heart attack, and they stuck an IV in my arm - where I almost passed out again.
I was terrified. I can still remember how much fear soared through my body then. I was begging the doctors for water, which they couldn't give me. Crying to my Mom about how much I didn't want to die. I didn't know what was wrong with me.
The next few hours were a blur. Boring as well. I couldn't really talk to my husband (then boyfriend) at the time because he was asleep for work. I had texted him a bunch but he hadn't woken up. I didn't have anyone else I could talk to.
I was alone.
I don't remember what I did. I just waited a bunch. They eventually took us to a semi-waiting room (I'm hesitant to call it that though, because it was just a big hallway with curtains that separated each person) and my Mom and I waited.
My step-dad came by eventually and brought my laptop, which was fantastic.
In the midst of the chaos, I had completely forgotten about the premiere. I remember I opened Tumblr to do some organizing and try to pass the time... and then it hit me! And I caught the stream just in time to catch the second song, I think. Hospital wifi wasn't great and I wasn't logged into my YouTube like I wanted to be... but I was there.
And being there, listening, helped me pass the time until I could leave the hospital. They kept me there from I believe 1pm to 2pm to about... 10 or 11pm. I don't remember anymore.
I went home that night, tossed my clothes in the laundry, showered, and replayed the album again.
Near the autumn season of that year, I moved in with my now-husband. This helped my mental state tremendously. Although for a while, I was a bit lonely without anywhere to go. My family lived an entire border away now. Eventually though, I forged new connections in my new home. But for a while, I was still mourning the loss of my group of friends.
I made various attempts to reconnect. Around this time was when Webfishing became popular. My cousins got super into it and I saw it as a way to talk and reconnect with everyone again. Old friends I hadn't spoken to in a long time hopped in lobbies to fish with me. I got a whole group of old friends in one place once. I was talking to them every day. And it was wonderful. It felt like I was wiggling my way back out of the period of isolation I had entered.
Once again, throughout the months, Vylet had been teasing it's new album: Monarch of Monsters. So I would listen to the tracks as Vylet released them on her Patreon Discord. I was able to eventually gather all the tracks together in one place and listen to them one by one. And I loved what I heard. I listened to it over and over until the eventual release of the album.
If you've been reading along thus far and by some miracle my ramblings about Vylet Pony have convinced you to give her music a listen, I encourage you to read the warning sea's provided for it's album Monarch of Monsters
WARNING: "Monarch of Monsters" contains blood/gore, murder, self-harm, suicide, nudity, sexual content, sexual assault, sexual violence, cannibalism, f-slur, and existential/cosmic horror. This pertains to its lyrics, themes, story, and artwork, and may be especially triggering to survivors of grooming and sexual assault. Parental guidance is advised for those under the age of 18, as "Monarch of Monsters" is intended for a mature audience.
Fun fact! My husband agreed to listen to this album with me and it's one of his favourite albums to date. He loved it so much he asked me to start the album from the beginning so he could boot up Armored Core and use the tracks as music to listen to while he played. That's a high honor from him!
I think the universe decided it needed to balance itself out in 2025 for me. My loneliness was still prominent at the beginning of 2024. So I decided that the time had come. I needed to buckle down and meet some new people and make some friends. I made the promise to myself that I would go out of my way to try and meet people on VRChat. I'd give myself three months to try and make friends. And if by the end of those three months, I was unsuccessful, I would give up on trying to meet new people.
I kept my expectations relatively low. By this point in time, I'd had multiple extended conversations about friendships with my husband. My husband told me that not everyone was going to be my best friend, which was true, and to keep my expectations for what these friendships would offer me low. Most of his experiences with friendship only really centered around doing stuff with the other parties.
I had been looking for people to be there for me when I needed a hand in my darkest hours.
But regardless, I went into VRChat with my husband's advice in mind. I gave myself a complete fresh start.
Now see... I thought I knew what colors were like beforehand. You have a basic idea of what red, orange, yellow, etc look like. You think you've seen them at their brightest.
The people in VRChat made me realize how dull the colors in my life were. The people I met have singlehandedly changed my life for the better. They've proven my husband's previous assumptions wrong. There are friends out there that fit my needs. Who would be there for me come what may. These people have stuck to my side during my worst moments.
I will forever be grateful to them. My friends saved me from the endless darkness of loneliness. In January, I felt myself sinking further and further beneath the waves. I decided to try one last time to swim above the surface. And when I did, I felt a furry little otter paw grab my hand and pull me onto his raft. We sailed together to many places. We met many people. Our little raft has turned into a boat with a crew of nearly thirty. Together, we have saved each other from drowning. And I hope we will continue to do so for many years to come.
I know a couple of them are probably reading this. Hi guys!! I love you lots.
2025 has been a year of healing for me. I have slowly been unlearning a lot of my old bad habits. Habits that had planted roots that took forever to untangle. Maybe it would be good for me to compare it to a garden.
I was taught how to garden by my family. I was taught how to cater and tend to the plants of others while my own garden remained untouched. But there would be moments where I realized my garden was overtaken by things like weeds and the like. So, I would remove the weeds from the garden all at once. I would realize the weeds may have been the fault of specific plants. Those I had been catering to. I would try to confront these plants but they would dig their roots in my garden more.
Only after moving out was I able to successfully remove them.
My friends taught me to how to properly tend to the soil. How to water the plants, crops, and flowers in my garden. And in turn, I helped them with theirs. They were gentle to me. I was gentle with them. That kindness went a long way. Through adversity, I learned how to approach troublesome situations. I learned how to stand up for myself. I learned more and more things about myself. I learned that no matter my past, my friends would stand by my side. Slowly, but surely, I learned to accept myself.
This change was gradual. My husband planted the seeds for this internal change to begin. I tended to the garden as best I could. Meeting my friends was like learning proper watering techniques and learning what fertilizer to use. In this environment, I could slowly grow and become a better version of myself.
Vylet's Love & Ponystep was the healing rain that fell upon my garden. With that album, paired with things like The Sensory Rooms, long, long talks with my closest friends, long periods of introspection, and the sprinkle on top that was the end of Undertale's 10th anniversary stream... something clicked in my mind.
My first listen through of Love & Ponystep didn't invoke any significant feelings in me. Probably because I listened to it in a bit of a poor state of mind. Subsequent listenings of the album, however...
Something shifted in me. Vid's journey toward self-love spoke to me. It didn't hit me all at once, but it all started with Love & Ponystep.
The album got me thinking about a lot of things. Webpunk, although not it's intended message, got me to step away from YouTube and other big-centralized platforms and seek out the indie web. I didn't realize how tired I was of the modern internet. While I'm lucky enough not to have advertisements shoved down my face 24/7 thanks to adblockers, it didn't occur to me how samey everything was. How everything on the internet demands your attention all the time.
I had realized this to some degree back in 2023. This is what prompted me to start moving away from social media entirely (among other reasons). You've read this a billion times before on other websites I'm certain, but I got tired of how TIRED I was using platforms like these. Each 'drama of the week' incident was just a ploy for attention and clicks. It increased the usage time of any platform. It helped make that platform money. And everything benefitted from this endless cycle of negativity.
I got tired of having to dance to the internet's rules of what they deemed acceptable and not. I got tired and existing in spaces with people who didn't have a trace of politeness in their veins. I wanted to embrace my interests wholeheartedly without worrying about people weighing me down. So I left social media entirely as a result. It was providing no benefit to my life. The only upside of it is that I was keeping up with my friend's accounts.
But even that was superficial. Clicking the like button is not a replacement for human interaction. When I deleted my accounts, I lost contact with many of these friends. It's sad how flimsy these friendships were, but life is life.
When YouTube announced they were going to start using AI to gauge the age of their viewers, I came to realize how flimsy our privacy truly was. It inspired me to stop using the platform. It encouraged me to seek out alternatives. That's how I found Neocities. That's how I found the indie web. I believe it was a combination of Webpunk, YouTube implementing it's bullshit AI into its interface without any way to opt out, and multiple other things that contributed to where I am now.
I joined Neocities. I swapped to Linux. I primarily use open-source software. I went through a massive overhaul of my entire digital life. I'm in the process of trying to completely DeGoogle myself from everything. I started to learn HTML and CSS. I built my own website where I can host my own stories.
This is my rebellion.
And as a result of all of these changes I'm making, I'm learning more about myself each and every day. The more I learn about myself, the less I hate myself, and the more I start to like myself. It won't be an overnight journey and I've got a long way to go, but I've started down this road. I have to be honest with myself in order to like myself. And for a long time, I wasn't being honest with myself. The key to unmasking (something I had to learn and do all the time when I was younger) was to be honest with myself.
Being honest with myself has led to a more authentic version of me. A happier version of me.
I spoke a little earlier about Fish Whisperer. It hasn't been until recently that I've been able to fully appreciate the album's meaning.
For years of my life, I've been a creative. In my younger years, I was making art for people who didn't necessarily enjoy it. I would draw works of art for them as a display of my affection. Their focus was primarily placed on the quality of the work itself. Their lack of acknowledgement crushed my spirit, but I didn't give up. But over the years, I continued to hear disparaging things about my artwork. Close friends made cruel jokes about it's worth.
Before I moved in with my husband last year, I tried to sell my drawing tablet at my local mom and pop store. I told myself that if they didn't accept it, I would take it as a sign to keep drawing. They did not accept my drawing tablet and I still have it with me to this day. But back then, my lingering doubts about my abilities as an artist remained strong. I had to be good enough. I had to be good enough to earn their acknowledgment.
So I started to mimic other art styles in hopes of seeking approval from my friends. This worked which only discouraged me more. I liked my art style. I liked that I could draw quickly. I liked the flat art style. I tried a variety of different techniques to see what would garner the most praise from my peers. It was no longer a passion that drove me forward, but rather a desire to be loved. Art was one of my ways of expression emotion. If they didn't like the way I expressed that emotion, I was determined to find a way to do better.
But it only discouraged me further from drawing. This as well discouraged me from writing. I was already a bit self-conscious about my writing at the time, so I didn't want to show anyone my work. I had already seen their disinterest in my art. I did not want that same thing to be extended to my artwork. I was absolutely terrified. I knew that I could pour hours of my time into something and they would be the ones to determine if it was worth their time or not. I was drawing for myself, but I was also drawing for them.
This, paired with my Mom telling me the flaws in my artwork when I was younger instead of nurturing the growing artist, stung. I was discouraged by my Mom from seeking out a career in art. She saw the artwork I was making back then and didn't think I was capable of improving. But I continued to draw anyway. Because I wanted more than anything to have a career in animation.
My friends at this time did not value anything I had to bring to the table. They did not like my art style. When I drew a piece of gift art for my three friends, one of my friends suggested taking the piece to a real artist to get it done "professionally". That stung a lot.
So for years, I didn't draw. And when I did start to draw again and I received encouragement... it felt good. But it didn't stick. I didn't think I was capable of growing as an artist. The negativity clung to my back, having dug its thorns into me long ago. I didn't publish my art much and I definitely didn't publish anything I wrote. I was terrified of having my writing scrutinized and beaten down.
Fairly recently, I've realized something.
Art doesn't have to be good. It just has to be.
And I failed to realize that this was just the entire premise of Fish Whisperer. Despite listening to the tracks multiple times on repeat, the message had never clicked for me. Until it did. Fairly recently, in fact.
Art doesn't have to be good. It is art because I make it. It IS enough to create.
I am a creative. I have been since I was young. It is one with my identity. The two cannot be estranged. My creations are always on my mind. If I am bored, I imagine a story. I imagine plot points that could happen in my story. I think about my characters. It has become my go-to thing to do. Pages and pages of notes have been filled about the stories that these characters could go on. The character arcs they could go through. The traumas they face and how they overcome them.
I am determined to tell these stories, now more than ever.
I am a real creative.
Art doesn't have to be good. It just has to be. You have to make it. That is enough.
Vylet's music has sincerely and irreversibly changed my life for the better. Her music is thought provoking, which is exactly why I like it. Each song and album speaks to me. It gives me something to think about. With each album release comes a booklet. Some of which include little lore tidbits about Vylet's characters. Some of them include her thoughts and the process of making each song. I love reading these little booklets. The information they provide is fascinating.
The music has carried me through some of the worst times of my life. Her music brought me comfort. Sea's music made me think. It's music made me happy. It gave me something to listen to in the background while I played games, it gave me something to listen to when I wanted to pay attention to the music, and sea's Top Five Videos series gave me something to chuckle over.
I've grown a deep appreciation for Vylet's storytelling. When she releases an album, she's the only artist I really trust to follow through. Not once has that trust ever been misplaced. Because of Vylet's music, I've learned that albums can tell stories. That albums have deeper meanings. I didn't really think much about the music I used to listen to before Vylet. Music was just something I'd have in the background to listen to because I liked the way it sounded.
It's so much more than that.
Vylet is so much more than that.
I cannot recommend Vylet's music enough to anybody willing to lend me an ear. Vylet cares about the music it's making. Vylet puts so much of her heart and soul into everything she makes. From masterpieces like Love & Ponystep, Fish Whisperer, and Carousel to shitposts like I'm Creekflow
Even if you find yourself a bit deterred by the pony aesthetic, I encourage you to give her music a try. I will stand by the fact that Vylet is a burning flame among the flickering candles in this age of subpar storytelling.
Let the music never stop. No.
